My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
