It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize