spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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