I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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