I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You are the jesus of drinking
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
