we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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