it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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