she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He better not be in your backpack
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
