One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
