This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
