Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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