Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
