Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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