it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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