his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the day after is always just damage control
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
