Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
