Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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