Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize