i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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