Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
