I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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