What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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