someone get that fucking seahorse.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
