you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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