he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
