Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize