How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize