My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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