yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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