I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
