i jhust puked up my retainher.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
