I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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