i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
