just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
