your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
