I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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