id be glad to
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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