Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
