I don't usually arrange sex via text message
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize