it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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