Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
