Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize