So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
