I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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