My hand turned me down
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
