i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
