Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
