i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Princesses don't give blow jobs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
