dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
