We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
