did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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