I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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