i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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