U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
