I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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