the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize