My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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