i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
