I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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