it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
