Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just high enough for therapy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
