no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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